My Valentine for the 11th time

We met each other in an AOL chatroom in January of 1999. I was "Sam007562" and he was "WuJunior." Of course neither one of us would have ever guessed those late night instant messages between us would slowly fertilize the soil of what would eventually grow into an 11-year relationship.

After chatting online for about two months, we both inexplicably changed our screenames. I became "MSam007562" and he, "WuJuniorX." And yet we managed to find each other again in a world of a million usernames and thousands of chatrooms. And though we hadn't communicated in about a month, the $hit talking between us picked up right where it had left off.

I should have known then, it was meant to be ...

Over the weekend we celebrated our 11th Valentine's Day together, nothing flashy at all. We spent the day relaxing at home, watching the NBA All-Star game and made dinner together. He reminded me it's been his tradition to make me dinner on Valentine's :) He grilled NY steaks and made some Cheddar and Broccoli rice while I sauteed some veggies. I know it sounds so simple and boring, but it was truly perfect. And it's the only way I would have wanted it.

I don't think you need a day like Valentine's Day to realize how much your loved ones mean to you, but seeing all the "Be Mine" candies, "I love you" bears and red-adorned decor everywhere does make you reflect on all the love you have in your life.

So in honor of this "holiday" that celebrates love ...

 I love my husband for knowing me better than anyone else and in spite of all my flaws and faults ...

... he still loves me unconditionally, or at least he acts like it :)

I love that we save our goofiest moments for each other.

And even when we're borderline idiots, we're still attracted to each other.

 

In fact, he totally thinks I'm at my prettiest during moments like this.

Thousands of IMs later, millions of minutes on the phone, tons of "You Got Mail" alerts, and millions of text messages later, we still talk, share everything with one another and listen to each other. Well at least he fakes like he does :)

Eleven years later, Tommy is still my best friend and makes me laugh everyday.

I love him and he loves me ... it sounds so simple, and that's just the way I like it.

Eating the Last Piece of Lumpia

I can't believe the first month of 2010 is almost over, didn't we just pop open the bubbly like a couple weeks ago? I don't think I've even washed the underwear I wore that night yet, lol.

Time is flying by so quickly, it still amazes me that 2009 is in the books. Last year was by far one of the busiest and most exciting periods of my life -- non-stop wedding planning, the wedding, our two-week vacation in paradise, adjusting to being married, deciding to walk away from a stable paycheck and instead work freelance, Chey starting high school, Chey transitioning from world of cute to the stinkin dangerous land of pretty ... God help me from strangling all the boys who stare at her! *sigh*

Those were just the main highlights and then there were also the little changes, and in totality it was simply a year that opened my eyes to life and all its developments ... the good, the bad and the ugly.

It's crazy how they say a wedding -- especially a destination wedding -- can bring out the ugly in people. I never really knew what this meant and always thought I would be the exception and somehow slide past all the unattractiveness. Unfortunately, I was being naive because ugly will always find you!

When Tommy and I opted to have a destination wedding we knew it would shorten our guest list considerably because of costs, travel worries, etc. But that was ok because we knew we would be having the wedding of our dreams. It also helped that we never wanted a huge wedding surrounded by people we barely knew because it was most important for us to be amongst the closest people in our lives -- people who loved and cared for us unconditionally and would always be there through the worst and best of times.

As RSVPs rolled in there were some pleasant surprises by people we never thought would be able to make it, and some painful disappointments from those who we had already written in with a Sharpie "wouldn't miss it for the world." Money of course was the main reason for many who couldn't make the trip, and of course with the economy struggling as it is, we completely understood. And then there were those who used the Swine Flu or Mexican drug wars as their escape -- again what could we do? Even then it was understandable.

But then there were those armed with excuses as porous as a block of Swiss cheese ... they simply didn't come.

With all the wedding chaos that was going on a month prior to our a date and even months thereafter, their absence didn't really hurt as much. I think the excitement of our special day and all the adrenaline that came with it really eased the blow.

But now, several months later, when I think about it...it hurts. Like a great workout that your aching muscles don't really feel until two days later. The pain was delayed.

When I look at our incredible photographs it is a beautiful reminder of the amazing time we had with all our family and friends -- the people who I now know I can always depend on rain or shine, good or bad, swine flu or drug wars :)

But those same photographs that can instantly make me laugh with joy, are also bitter snapshots of who was missing...who should have been there.

How could one of your closest friends miss the most important day of your life? How could he/she not even have the courtesy to tell you, "I'm not going to be able to make it." How could he/she not be there? How could he/she not take the time to even call you after the big day and see how everything went? So many questions, with silence as the only answer.

I don't know why it has bothered me so much lately, perhaps because at the end of each year I take time to reflect on what was and what is yet to come. I guess in reality, I should have seen it coming. Some people never truly seemed happy about our wedding plans. Why, I don't really know. But in the back of my mind I tried to convince myself that I was being overly paranoid and it would all work out.

People change, they really do, even those whom you think are the closest to you.  Unfortunately those are the friends whose betrayal hurts the most, because well, you thought that friendship could withstand anything. And yet somehow you seem to look past the days, months, years of stormy weather and then one day you look at the friendship with eyes wide open, shocked to see what's left is merely a skeleton of a weathered friendship that collapsed when you needed it the most.

I am sad for lost friendships because I won't lie, it hurts. But what can you do? Much like a failed relationship, you sit back and wonder what went wrong. And much like failed relationships, you think back at the good times and all the laughter, and hope that one day the pain will subside and understanding will take its place. Instead of being bitter or holding on to a grudge, I want to remember the friendship that was and how he/she helped me become what I am today. No regrets, no anger, but simply grateful for what was. That is how I choose to handle it.

But I don't write all this to wallow in my tears because what has been equally powerful is realizing that while my circle is not merely as large as it used to be when I was Ms. Social Butterfly, the loved ones and friends I do have in my life today are simply...the best!

I hold dear to me old friendships that have survived being battered and worn like a favorite pair of jeans. And I'm also excited for new friendships bubbling on the surface. And then there are those long lost friendships that seem to have caught new life ~ I will say Facebook certainly has a lot to do with that and I am grateful*

While we were not blessed with the presence of every single person who was important to us on June 26th, the circle of love, life, and laughter that enveloped us on our wedding day was overwhelmingly wonderful. My heart was filled with so much love and appreciation that day, our cups truly runneth over with a joy that simply could not be put into words. It could not have been more perfect and I really couldn't have asked for a better experience.

And for those who simply could not make our big day for good reason, but sent us their love in a package filled with prayers and well wishes topped with a beautiful bow -- *THANK YOU* from the bottom of our hearts. Your love from afar brought blue skies and sunshine to our day and we were so very grateful!

I have had these feelings weighing so heavy on my mind since the last couple months of 2009 so it feels good to finally get it off my chest and say it out loud, internet style at least :)

And on that note, I think I am finally at peace with the year that was and am finally ready to toast in 2010. So with a festive spirit in mind... like a yummy dish at a party, there's always one piece left that no one wants to eat but is dying to be picked up.

So I'll gladly take that final piece of lumpia and swallow it with a smile!

I'm officially closing the book on 2009. It was a year to celebrate love and changes ... the good, the bad and even the ugly.

Aaaahhh so we meet again ...

Yeah so apparently, I subconsciously made a New Year's resolution to totally ignore my blog and go on strike from writing -- well damn it, I must say, I'm doing pretty good so far!!!!

No really, the holidays just got me all sidetracked and I have been a bad bad blogger. There is so much to catch up on and since mid December life has been a blur. But indeed I will catch up, hopefully sometime today or tomorrow ... or the next day. I promise!! But just wanted to check in for now, to let you know I have a pulse :)

And on that note, here's a little diddy of me giving that "yeah I'm a bad blogger, and so what?" look. Yep, I'm a hard ass. Watch out now.

Five Great Gift Ideas for The Holidays 2009

Ok so in the past I've gone all out on Christmas, buying all those close to me the latest and greatest _______ (insert whatever here) with a coupon or discount of course. However, in recent years I've noticed that this tendency of mine to blow through the bank during the holidays has very much tamed itself, which is a good thing. And while it's wonderful to be able to give the ones you love a super neato _______ (insert whatever here), I've come to realize those things often end up losing their value quicker than you can say "Happy New Years!"

About four years ago I came to the realization that when someone asks me what I want for Christmas, I am truly at a loss. As far as material goods, my cup runneth over with more than I could wish for. I have a roof over my head, a closetful to clothe my body, shoes for my feet, food on the table and a my good ol' reliable 99 Civic that still gets me wherever I need to go. And yep, I do feel blessed to have all those things.

So this Christmas the hubby and I are really going easy on the gift-giving, especially because we're saving to buy a house in the Spring. This decision requires us to be a bit creative with our holiday cheer :)

While we realize that handing out gifts ultimately requires some sort of expense, sometimes I think the best gifts are ones that come with an "experience." Yanno, something that you will indeed remember 15 to 20 years from now. As I've grown older, homemade gifts have also become a fav ~ especially sweets, hence my extra 7-pound winter coat of fat. HA!

But enough of that, here are some crafty and creative ideas that I think are great gift options this  holiday season:

Here's a little diddy of me to get you in the holiday mood -- the obligatory "who the hell is this old crazy lookin white-haired man, get me offa here NOW" Santa picture :)

1) Personalized Calendars.

I'm sure as kids you adored your puppy calendar or swooned over that New Kids on the Block calendar like I did. But these days, there is nothing more meaningful than a customized calendar filled with pictures of your gift recipient. I started doing this about 5 years ago and my friends and family loved them so much, they grew to expect them. For the past two years I didn't get the chance to make em because I was overwhelmed with work and just didn't have enough time, and believe me I had some disappointed family members for sure. But this year ... I'm bringin sexy back. YEAH!

In the past I've used Office Max and Shutterfly, but Costco online offers some GREAT options for calendars. I've loved the quality of the calendars and they get delivered to your home in just a few days. Personalized calendars are PERFECT gifts for friends and family, especially grandparents who always adore seeing pics of their grandkids. These calendars can range anywhere from $10 to $25 ~ Costco's standard calendars are $10 plus shipping. If you don't have the pictures to create a calendar, think of giving them a gift certificate specifically for this. It's a great keepsake full of happy memories to last them through the new year!

2) ITune giftcards.

Who doesn't LOVE music? With everyone and their momma havin some sort of MP3 player these days, ITune giftcards are the way to go. Sam's Club and Costco currently have multipacks on sale that are priced lower than their value. Music is timeless and with these giftcards, your family and friends will be rockin out far beyond the holiday season and the one after that :)

3) Make dinner for your family or friends or host a dinner party.

Who doesn't love food? Food isn't just fuel for the body, it also feeds the soul and allows for time to sit and talk to your guests -- it's time to bond. There is something wonderfully fulfilling about seeing people chow down on something you've made and sit around a table laughing and sharing stories. These are memories etched with fondness, friendship, laughter and joy that you will remember years and years from now.

Now if you can't cook a meal to save your life, consider doing an appetizer/dessert party. Appetizers are much more simpler to make and the same goes for desserts. Trust me, an assortment of appetizers, along with something tasty to drink and a selection of yummy desserts go a long way! Oooh and if you want a good appetizer idea -- order from Family Favorites catering!!!! My homemade lumpia was born to rock your parties out :)

4) www.restaurant.com certificates

I don't know how this company manages to stay afloat but they are practically giving away restaurant certificates right now! There are roughly 13,000 restaurants nationwide that have teamed up with this company, selling certificates for:

$10 for $25 certificate

$20 for $50 certificate

$30 for $75 certificate

$40 for $100 certificate

Now mind you these are not franchise restaurants, most are smaller eateries, but many great ones that I have tried. I also happen to think it's fun trying out restaurants that aren't mainstream, so it opens the door for a little adventure. One thing you gotta note is that there are minimums that you must spend to use the coupon -- most of the one's I've seen are "spend at least $35 to use the $25 off." That's still only a $10 meal, which is fantabulous!!!! Also a big bonus is that these certificates don't expire and can be emailed if you want to send it someone you won't be seeing soon.

There are even packages where you can send someone 3/6/9/12 months worth of certificates ($25 a month) so they can look forward to a new experience each month!

Now while the above mentioned deals might sound good -- I've got another doozie for you. I have a ridiculously GOOD coupon to go with it!!!!

Yep 70% off if you use the code SNOW at check out. The code SHARE was their previous deal for 80% off and I think it's expired, but check it out it just may work. 

Imagine buying a $25 certificate for as low as $2 or $3 -- tell me that isn't freakin ridiculous??? 

5) www.smartbox.com gift certificates.

Another great gift idea I actually just discovered earlier today at Sam's Club. Ooooh weee I love me some Sam's Club!!!

These certificates allow people to choose their own "experience." There are themed boxes that offer different options such as:

- Fun for All: pottery class, aquarium visit, kayaking, dance class, etc.

- Adventure: surfing, white water rafting, hiking, yoga, indoor climbing, etc.

- Charming Getaways: 1-night lodging options throughout your area

- Adrenaline: bungee jumping, snowmobiling, segway riding, bobsledding, paragliding, skydiving, etc.

- Gourmet Retreats: wine tasting with an overnight stay, spa visits with an overnight stay, etc.

Each box is good for 1 or 2 people, depending on the activity you choose, and gives your gift recipient the freedom to choose their adventure. I would absolutely LOVE to get something like this and I think it's an awesome concept ~ certainly a great alternative to the regular ol' store giftcard.

The boxes run for as low as $49 up to $350 for the super fancy, all out experience.

Anyhoo, those are just a few ideas that I think are great alternatives to the usual sweater or scarf we all seem to get every year. But remember, it really should be about the thought that counts. So don't break the bank, and instead, be thoughtful and creative and make it something you think will last a lifetime ... ahem, a calendar of Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner without shirts on and that plaid patterned purse you really want will be a worthless piece of crap in about 2 years :) I promise!!

Oh and PS in case you didn't realize it based on my "7-pound coat of winter fat" comment, a basketful of homemade goods -- cookies, holiday sweets, cake, cupcakes, etc. is also rockstar solid for a gift. I don't think I've ever met someone who didn't LOVE a basket of homemade sweetness and if you do happen to know someone who wasn't overly enthused by your basket of goodies, you have my permission and blessing to smack em upside the head!

Five Things You Didn't Know About Me ~ Installment #1

This will likely be the first of many installments, but here we go ...

1) I COULDA BEEN A CRYSTAL. 

My parents wanted to name me Crystal, after Crystal Gale. I'm SO glad they didn't -- that name has always sounded sorta ... stripperish to me. Sorry if your name is Crystal, I'm sure you're not a stripper. Or are you? Hmmmm.....

 In case you didn't know who Crystal Gale was ...

But instead of crowning me with a stripper-life fate, they decided to do what many Filipino parents are oh so very fond of -- the mixed name combo. Mom's name is Mary, Dad's name is Sam -- hence the MarieSam (pronounced MarySam). Ah yes, as if the combo name wasn't enough, they got creative and changed the spelling up too. Kinda like how people do the name Marcus, Markus, Marquis, Marques = hilarious!!!

PS - As a toddler, I looked like I had no chance of growing up cute, my parents wont admit it, but I'm sure they were worried. Example ...

2) I HAVE A DEFORMITY.

I have a permanently broken/deformed right pinky finger, and ironically my daughter has one too!!

I don't know how my finger came to be like this, my Grandma used to joke with me and say she sat on it when I was little thus breaking it. But I never knew if she was joking or being truthful because she always chuckled right after she said it. Nevertheless, it's my flaw and I have embraced it. Although I will say that it has prevented me from learning how to do a cartwheel or handstand ... or at least that's what I'm gonna say, lol.

As for Chey, she broke her right finger in elementary school during recess. It was a freak accident, but we had a splint put on it, by her Pepa (Tommy's dad) and it healed just fine, except now it's a little  crooked and looks like mine, although not as bad. Strange right?

3) I WAS A DANCING QUEEN. FOR REAL.

For about 9 years when I was a kid I took ballet, pointe, tap, jazz, and hip-hop lessons and I was freakin good *HOLLA* I competed every year with my dance group -- Chorus Line Dance Studio -- and won more than 30 trophies. We also did yearly productions at the auditorium at Long Beach Jordan High School and I'd invite all my friends and family to come watch me. I began performing at such a young age, I had to learn how to do my makeup and hair because my mom couldn't always attend my competitions. So you could pretty much say I've been doing hair/makeup since I was about 7, hence my love for cosmetics and other beauty products!

My ballet/pointe teacher was Anne Demko and she was a professional ballerina who mingled with the likes of other well-known performers. One year we did the Goblin King as a ballet production and I played the lead role. She said she showed the tape to her friend, David Bowie, and he thought I was beautiful and loved me as a dancer. I never knew if she was telling the truth, but I decided to go ahead and believe her because it just tickled my fancy :)

And oh yes, there are pictures. Here are just a few of the lost archives.

 

OMG, yes I totally thought I was sexy here!!! Look, I even signed the damn thing, HA!

4) I COULD HAVE DONE A DUET WITH STEVE URKEL.

Aside from being a dancer growing up, I also played ... wait for it ... wait for it ... the accordion. Oh yes, I played the nerdiest instrument known to mankind!!!

I have not a clue how my parents got me into playing this thing, but one day somebody came to the house and gave me a lesson and the rest was history. I played for about five years and I was pretty good whenever I'd actually sit down and practice. But alas, I hated practicing! The instrument was heavy as can be and I would have rather been dancing. Nevertheless, my group won lots of competitions and one year I even placed 2nd runner up in a largest accordion competition on the West Coast. It was held at the Hyatt Hotel at LAX every year and the first year I totally bombed. The next year is when I placed and my parents were overjoyed. I was a bit proud too especially because I HATED the instrument, lol.

On a side note, I still have my accordion and Tommy begs for me to whip it out now and then. I still remember a couple of things, but it'll probably take a few lessons for me to become fluid at it again. But don't hold your breath, I have no desire to revive my life as the female version of Steve Urkel, lol.

And here's yet another accordion pic during my pre-teen fugly era. I can't believe I'm really posting this, WOW.

5) I AM TOTAL CHICKEN $HIT.

I'm afraid of scary movies and suspense material, and I mean, hide under a blanket or my jacket when I'm watching them scared.

I never understood why my friends growing up always wanted to rent scary movies during slumber parties, but they did and I hated it. I've never really been able to overcome this fear, perhaps it's because I have an overactive imagination and begin to think that the scary characters or occurrences I see in the film will carry over into real life. The last scary movie I watched was "The Ring" and I am still convinced one of these nights that scary little chick is gonna walk outta my TV screen and eat me.

In the late 80s, I remember watching "Pet Semetery" with my accordion group, ironically, and I almost peed in my pants in the theater. For the next two years I was convinced Zelda -- the skeleton/ghoulish sister with the jacked up back who was locked up in a room -- was living in our guest room, which had a bed that was empty but no one slept in there. It was awful and sometimes I still have flashbacks of her face *EEKKKK*

Admittedly, I am still chicken $hit to this day and my threshold for watching scary stuff is limited to the show "Criminal Minds". Yeah, even that crap scares me. I recently sat through a Criminal Minds  marathon and I am thoroughly convinced that anyone who looks at me sideways is a freakin serial killer!!!

Ok enough about me for now ~ do you still think of me the same way?

If BS'ing was a sport, I'd be freaking famous.

I have no idea why I am like this, but I wait until the last minute on everything! Be it work, doing projects/papers during my school days, working on to-do lists, needing a haircut, or even getting my eyebrows threaded -- I will wait till I look like I've gone on strike from haircuts and I'm sportin an unattractive unibrow.

* I know this would be a perfect time to add a picture of me with grown out hair and a unibrow, but I am not stupid Internet!*

But I think the worst thing about waiting last minute is that it makes me chronically late to everything! Everything such as: my own wedding, our wedding welcome dinner, my day-after wedding photo session, my college graduation, church, doctor's appointments, dinner dates, sporting events, numerous family parties, oh and lest I forget work, work, and work.

You see this should have been in better light, but I was 90 minutes late for my own wedding!!

Even though I know I need to handle these things, no matter what, it's always done last minute. If last minute was a train, I'd be hanging on to the caboose with my fingernails with my knees dragging on the tracks. Yes, it is that bad.

I decided to reflect on this fault of mine because these next two weeks are hellish for me with  six packages due -- shot, script written, voiced and edited.

Interviewing Lou Gossett, Jr.

In fact I have one due tomorrow morning at 9 a.m. but instead I am:

-- sitting at home facebooking and checking every person's page ... three times in case they update it with the answers to life's greatest mysteries -- Is Tupac alive? Who killed Biggie? Did OJ do it? Why do boys wear skinny jeans? Is Heidi Klum "I have 4 kids, but look damn good" human? Will I ever lose my "but I had a baby" gut? etc, etc, etc.

-- eating my Smart Ones' cheese ziti like I was sittin on a patio bistro in Italy ... sans the bistro, the patio, and Italy.

-- and casually sipping on diet green tea like it came from the fountain of youth and it's the last drink left in the world.

Yes, I am totally BS'ing!

And yet, despite my terrible affinity for procrastination, I somehow get things done. Most of the time I have no idea how, lol. Me and last minute are just good friends :)

So in honor of my knack for BS'ing, I thought I'd humor the world, and myself for that matter, listing all the ridiculous ways I have been putting things off lately in an effort to ignore the pile of work and writing assignments I have to do. This is one of the downfalls of being a freelance journalist and working from home. BUT maybe this will make me realize how terribly bad I am and ignite a change ...

1) I hit the home button on facebook about a million times in hopes that someone will post something that warrants my immediate attention. Yeah I know, nothing is ever that important on facebook, lol.

2) I set out on a search for a "Law and Order" rerun, knowing damn well that show is on every hour of the day. Ooooh wee and I loves it!!

3) I watch tivo'ed Lakers' games ... from last season's finals. Tee hee. I am a chronic "old" Lakers' game watcher and will get all excited even though I know the outcome and have seen the same dunks, steals, and-ones, over and over and over again. When my husband makes fun of me, I just tell him I secretly got hired as a scout for the team so I'm reviewing film.

4) I open the refrigerator about two times an hour as if some splendid meal is going to pop up in between peeks. But alas, the same 20 jars of random condiments, bags of Thanksgiving leftovers and other little tidbits are still in there.

5) I read through old emails and organize them into my Saved Folders if they're important and need to be kept. Oh and I address ones I somehow forgot to respond to. Do you think it's rude that I never responded to a "congrats you're married!" email from June? Nevermind, I don't really like that person anyways.

6) I play Jungle Jewels, Bejeweled Blitz and World Challenge repeatedly (as in 20 times in a row) on Facebook. Hmmm...I beginning to realize that Facebook is a perfectly tailored haven for BS'ers. Damn it, this is all Facebook's fault!!!

7) I google/yahoo my name to see what interesting things are being said about me. This is pretty funny and a good thing to do every once in a while. It can give you quite a confidence boost, but can also kick you to the ground and humble you. It reminds me not everyone will like my work and that I need to have thick skin working in the broadcasting industry ... oh an aside from all that, it's a good way to make sure someone isn't using your name as an alias to be an international pornstar!

8) I read every article possible on my USC Trojans, the LA Lakers and sometimes the Angels. My love for sports is always a good excuse to BS :) Nuff said.

9) I bother my 14-year-old daughter to the point where she says "you're crazy/you're weird/what's wrong with you .... mommy?" The conversation starts innocently with me asking her what's going on with school, her teachers, her grades, her friends, etc. And when I feel her attention slipping away I begin to ask her about Taylor Lautner and all the rest of her teenie bopper idols/imaginary boyfriends. She's quick to my game and somehow our conversations always end with her saying "don't you have work to do?" *sigh* sometimes having a smart kid has its faults.

10) Hmmmm .... I blog thinking that it will get my journalistic juices flowing and jumpstart my brain into wanting to sit down and write.

Yeah, that last one didn't work ... Cheyenne is home from school!!! Time to go bother her :)